Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, 1991.
My masterpiece of a tweet
YES.YES.YES. People need to realise this
I feel like this needs to be shared with a ton of people.
Sorry for the color but i love this.
SO FUCKING IMPORTANT
I will always reblog this.
What if small children had a magnetic attraction towards Sarge… like whenever he’d be in public and a baby would start crying (tho sarge isn’t really the kinda guy who would be fond about kids) he’d just kinda glance over, slightly annoyed and look at the kid and they’d stop crying and just kinda stare at him and start smiling
small children following him around ducklings and he’s just “What in tarnation? Where are your keepers?”
Sarge could also try to teach them battle tactics to hilarious effect.
I’m like 25% funny and 85% bad at math
When you’re at a friend’s house and they have a dog
Let’s look at the facts:
1) In “The best superpower” Soren stops time (or freeze people).
2) In “Four best movie universe to die in” Soren says he has “willed” his parents’ dog to go to a specific Heaven.
3) In “7 horrifying lessons hidden in movies about childhood” Soren says normal human aging is confusing to him.
4) In “11 movie alternate universes with horrifying downsides” Soren is seen teleporting/jumping between dimensions.
5) In “Why everyone wants to have sex with vampires” he talks about puberty as something other people went through, not him.
6) In “Why Disney’s Aladdin is secretly horrifying” he is very invested in the Genie’s entrapment in the lamp. By the end of the episode he admits to projecting his own problems/situation unto the Genie.
7) In “Why Peter Pan is propaganda for perverts” he says that he has a phobia of aging, but also seem to think it’s something that’s natural, just not to HIM and he would prefer to avoid it.
8) He is overall convinced he is better than the people surrounding him, and apparently people feel drawn to him according to Daniel.
Most of these could just be because Soren thinks of himself as better/more important than others, but combined with his supernatural powers I propose Soren isn’t a human at all, but actually a powerful creature trapped in a mortal body he doesn’t know how to escape from. His powers might cause him to age slower than humans, but it’s happening, and he might die with the body which isn’t natural at all to him, hence his intense fear of aging.
And sure, he has talked about his parents and early years, but we don’t know how long he has been trapped, under which circumstances, or if he’s just trying to seem more human to avoid trouble.
This would explain Soren’s preternatural hand-eye coordination:
Can I just say I love that we’re making head-cannons about After Hours?
*imagines a cannon-headed person*